considerations and reflections on romantic relationships considerations and reflections on romantic relationships
Love today
not only in everyday conversations among people of every age and sex, friends and acquaintances, work colleagues but also in the television programs of all national and private television, in newspaper articles and magazines of all kinds is being debated this issue which arises from the experience of suffering: once to a certain point in married life or just in romantic relationships will acknowledge that he / she is no longer suited to the type of relationship, the expectations that were feeding at the beginning: he / she is prevented from damage and to their growth (personal) spiritual, peace, balance, to the pleasure that a person is expected to reach in a report by two, if he aims high, or is of more practical obstacle to personal interests and selfish, freedom to do what Like that of most uncomplicated, if you have aspirations very common and mediocre.
consequences of this state of mind are anger and discomfort, negativity and thrust, the instinctive impulse to leave the mate for another person more akin in their aspirations and closer to its ideals.
This finding is so common and obvious that it makes us think seriously, at least on first impression, which is hard to find pairs in harmony and even makes us wonder whether you can meet the right person to enjoy the joys of love. E ', however, a very negative reflection.
Now we try to understand what lies behind this fact so obvious and frequent.
First of all, dear reader, must understand the type of relationship you have with the person who creates obstacles and impediments: there is always a karmic to consider, that we attract like magnets always the people with whom we had to do in past lives and we chose ourselves at the moment of reincarnation to meet on balance debits and credits to improve the moral and material and transforming our awareness with acceptance behavior and forgiveness. I realize that many readers or smile or take me for a naive dreamer out of reality, but it is a fair reflection that you always do.
To make sure that what we live is a karmic relationship that we chose for a reason, you can do a proof-test: if you think the person is no longer problematic for you, why not change it and you I choose another more suitable to your aspirations? If you are allowed to make such a change also exhausting, is a sign that you're mature / a for another experience, if not, that means you have to develop your other qualities of character necessary to its growth and to your (you do not grow or sinking never alone).
When you have completed those features required by your innermost being, then you get what you want most in harmony with yourself, otherwise you meet the same difficulties, the same experiences of suffering and discomfort until you have overcome with the knowledge and availability and I would say with love. This is the law of evolution.
Once you understand this, you can start the real work on yourself, the work of liberation from the constraints and dependencies.
The work can begin, for example, already during the discussions and occasional arguments in your couple relationship where it is important that you are alert and pay attention to what you feel to instinctive reactions, seen objectively as possible (otherwise will only strengthen your opposition and aggression, in a word, your egotism) to understand what is bothering you, what principles, opinions and aspects of your character is attacked or challenged by your partner and gain consciousness. This initial exercise Observation and attention is not always possible to run the same because it depends on the degree of involvement and anger that exists in those moments, but still needs to be done after a moment's pause.
If you do this exercise with serene objectivity and with a desire to find harmony in yourself and in your report, you'll see some aspect of your character is not very positive and perhaps unknown to you until then. Porto
an example from the stories of experiences of good friends and confidential, Francesca and Antonio, and Francis says: in many of the usual arguments-debates on trivial, I notice that when my partner / husband accuses me and attacks me with harshness and severity, with a spirit of aggression and sarcastic critic, to me it is natural to do the same thing, but not out of spite, or rather by instinct more cunning and finesse: that is, be tough and rigorous, critical and aggressive bad accusing alleged or actual wrongs suffered, but I can not do that because he is stronger and abusive, so they are not free from such defects,'ve got hidden in my heart and I wake up in fear of what they make me suffer, if not try to overcome them . At this stage Franc. question is: what experience am I doing? What emotions I feel in my report? How do I feel?
And if it is not an effort to understand, beyond its psychological and spiritual life only what experiences and perceives no future prospects.
Francesca has however felt the urge to go beyond that limit and overcome negative feelings and sensations you have additional questions trying to explain why these experiences and hard to grasp what is right and wrong and recognizing the reasons for ordering.
He had the answers that have made it clear that Antonio is living the same as his torment and suffering, the same mental processes that lead to trouble and the reactions so violent and aggressive, she realized that both are closed in the same cage, chained to the defects of his personality, his own selfishness that separates them and move them away with suffering and pain, but both feel a strong desire el'anelito to awaken the heart and soul and to express loving care for themselves and for each other / in the serene harmony, peace of heart and mind to feel free at last and full of understanding and warmth between them. They can not, if you do not change.
Francesca guessed, therefore, the need for this very important process of transforming itself and now, through the continuous exercise in situations that everyday life offers a pair, he realized that Antonio is his mirror, as she is Antonio, which reflects his image that his strengths and weaknesses, if she smiles this smiles when she is angry she is angry.
In a moment of confidence, Francesca has confessed that the experience with Antonio is the third in order of importance for the first time but because he made it clear that certain experiences in the work of improvement of one's character can not be postponed further, penalty of loss of identity and dignity, even in the previous two encountered the same difficulties that had the courage and maturity to deal with as it is doing now with Antonio.
Currently, since there are young children who need the highest availability of parents, Frank realized that his present condition of life, that is, his relationship with Antonio is the best opportunity offered to it by his karma to finally take his life in the hands of managed very spirit of awareness and responsibility. 'S full of self-confidence and energy and love is convinced that an angel from heaven to help her understand that the apparent negative qualities of her husband are the urge to understand itself to change and improve with him.
The reader will wonder if there are, and what results of this work on herself, yes, definitely, because she has realized that the suffering of the discussions and disputes, is set when you feel separated from Antonio for misunderstanding and selfishness , ie when it can not control themselves and to accept him as it is, and is not capable of understanding, balance and calm in the debate without overpowering.
Inspired by the experience of the two spouses, friends and loved ones "climbing companions," you can make some observations on their relationship that can extend to all romantic relationships: Frank understands that his current situation with Antonio best suited to develop qualities that evidently lacked: patience, availability, respect the ideas and behavior of others and also the unconditional love, the greatest feelings in an individual who loves freedom independence, respect and the intention to build up a balance also through the daily skirmishes and conflicts.
The skeptical reader might say that he is not interested in those qualities and feelings, but peace and peaceful state of mind to think about your interests too sentimental, it is certain that we "roped climbers" we expect our existence, the up to perfection for evolutionary growth: we want to be filmmakers and actors of our lives free from constraints and not just spectators.
Francesca actually awakened in him, fueled by the difficult conditions in which millions of people as an activity aware of thoughts and reflections which have led to continually ask what is the essence and meaning of their existence and the world around her and how it should be done to harmonize itself with the essence of creation, which she feels have deep affinities with the his being, in essence, acknowledged that the meeting point is the energy created with the love that pervades everything and is justly awakened in the hearts and minds by starting personal relationships. What do you mean this discussion?
difficulties, trials and challenges, conflicts and suffering are used to stimulate the search for explanations but also urge us to apply that love is acceptance, understanding and forgiveness, if a person gets in that state of being in the sanctuary of his inner life, can claim to have understood the meaning of life, however, remains a continuing need to practice these very often risking their values \u200b\u200bare not understood and even misunderstood. Opening up the energy of love pays off any misunderstandings and suffering and the joy of being a catalyst and an active element in any personal relationship. Just try it!
But not everyone has the need for spiritual elevation through the exercise of unconditional love that is the feeling that almost nothing or very little personal satisfaction for the majority of people fly "low" that is essentially a relationship is to meet the emotional needs of not being alone (solitude is actually a beast), especially nice to share experiences, to experiment with sexuality and sensuality and involvement without many limitations, because they are afraid of not being able to manage , guaranteed to feel the emotional and physical security not realizing that with time you create a subtle dependency on partners in this historic moment, however, is often shocked, then you establish a relationship of torque according to precise and tacit agreements to feel protected and justified in their opportunistic and selfish desires: economic security, to feel good without much concern, security of feelings, if any, well, if not there, you can create "masks" and you can find a way to procure outside legal relationship, but these people can deny the fundamental aspect of love: 's independence, autonomy, mental and emotional that turns into joy, freedom, respect and consideration for each other / and in, giving himself a walk together to help each other grow up free and independent.
Who has the power or the intention to solve the problems of torque and behave opportunistically, is destined to fail sooner or later, because people are especially attentive to their own selfish interests, and if not found satisfaction, after a certain time to escape. In these cases you must make a clear statement, if you put into play by asking yourself what you want from a relationship where you're going and what attitude you take towards the experiences arising from it, then you can make the case that opens the path of knowledge that makes you understand the right attitude to adopt towards yourself and towards others / e feels the urge to change to become thereby entering the type of experience described by Francesca.
There is another way to love-pleasure which would exclude any implication of moral or spiritual: to satisfy the need of affection and sexuality in a direct and instinctive: E 'married? I do not care, I like it / want it.
I talk about love and power, as sull'autoconsapevolezza growth medium together with your partner, in this case not relevant because those who are taking that road want the joy and pleasure for the taste of adventure to experience the full enjoyment of the senses and emotions of fleeting encounters and then move on to other conquests. Many men and women, at least to a certain age, they move to this level, but invariably at some point in their lives comes a disappointment sets in motion the question being: "Who am I? Who is he / she? What does sex and affection? Why this experience of suffering? What should I bring to the world?
In my experience, even the most knowledgeable people in romantic relationships, men or women, are not exempt from this law of evolution, those who resist is the most fragile and afraid of being alone and playing this game and if for some reason fails lucky to be active in some way, understand that love is not only taking but also giving.
a period not far from this part is spreading another type of behavior that I call free of all moral and mental patterns and problems that may affect or suppress a link or links to live immersed in the romantic relationships' Power-Love with pleasure and enjoyment, without any special care or moral scruples, aiming only to a fusion energy with your partner, without long-lasting emotional involvement, as in a game joyous and free. Joy and pleasure, sexuality and sensuality, lived in the present moment, spontaneous and joyful moments as a living free from commitments to increase awareness, at the end are also growing. This behavior is different from the past where there is involvement and cooling instinctive level of the senses.
studying directly in people who practice it, I have seen that is so typical of a mentality and culture of the East, not tied to moral and spiritual commitments Western instinct tends to lighten the weight of karma and the constraints that may ensue. It 's a good thing in this era of renewal, but is unlikely to last very long at least in our Western society they are born of concrete daily requests moral and material security.
The conduct described are quite common as to be able to speak of categories, but in reality there are many nuances in the conception and practice of love for those individuals. Everyone can do what he wants, provided it does not lack appreciation and respect for others, the will to walk together and to build a relationship with dedication, sacrifice and joy. Indeed, the differences in the field of love are highly challenging, if considered as grounds for deepening and improving yourself.
At this point the case is to give some tips to maximize a relationship in conscious and to acquire all the qualities described above.
The great love must be built consciously self-esteem, recognition and acceptance of their own and others' faults and virtues. Understanding is good that this is accompanied by the awareness that almost all the emotional ties are meetings called for by destiny and not random. In fact, you can suffer from misunderstandings and conflict or you can meet happy and positive situations, which give satisfaction and contentment. Even the great Love is the result of deliberate work that gives important results, including the true ownership, however, reports "normal" are intended to be depleted over time, even if you do not use all possible strategies suggested by true love, unless that there are very deep karmic reasons that often push hard to experiences of physical and moral suffering. The other
/ a is a part of yourself, what inspires you with his behavior and his acting is your fuel, he / she is the spark that lit the awakening a world of thoughts, emotions and feelings that belong only to you (and your karma). These processes should be enlightened and made aware through thought, which is the only true possession and to allow the passing of any sense of dissatisfaction and of separateness from the other and from life.
If you have not yet reached 40-45 years, (policy limit) it is good experience to end your romantic relationships, brings into play all of you to try to discover the healthy eating instinct and desire and it is good Developing self-awareness to understand that the quality of relationships, comparing the external reality with your inner world. However, if you've exceeded this limit of age, but you did these experiences and you know well, then it should work on conscious and unconscious reactions that the other / a you raise, so that you can build a relationship in which the relationship with yourself must be based a great self-esteem and security, as it forms the basis from which comes love.
E 'vital that you take away the fear of not being appreciated / loved ae / ae of not being up to meet each other / a in every sense; what is true is to penetrate into yourself every moment with love and acceptance . The relationship with the other is the consequence than you are inside.
always chosen as the person "in love with love", can create new relationships, harmonious, full of enthusiasm and joy, to be an effective instrument of love with anyone (for the healthy assessment will serve as a guide) and feel constantly in the creative flow. The person who enters into relationship with you will feel fully involved and rewarded, you will become the deepest and more sure of his conscience, t'incontrerà constantly in his thoughts and feelings, emotions and actions, as his loyal and reliable guide. This is
the love that gives life, it is possible for those who are striving to renew a relationship or multiple relationships, with perseverance and determination, enthusiasm and satisfaction. Thereby escape the influences of past karma and create new bonds conscious, such as to provide a positive and profound sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life.
You can make the case that a person feels that the path traced here is suited to his feelings, but that does not have the forces necessary to begin the journey, then he can resort to this type of exercise based on autosuggestions (self-therapy) or self-assertion that will certainly give you the right energy:
1) I'm going to reach a more complete independence even sentimental; are decided / ae sure about regaining my inner freedom by developing the highest respect and consideration for myself a.
2) I'm fine, I feel good, my body and my mind are in good health, vigor and efficiency to achieve balance and harmony with myself and with others.
3) deal with events and daily reports as an opportunity to strengthen our will to feel peaceful / a, unsatisfied with what I am and what I do and free / from any conditioning.
4) I'm going more and more developing acceptance, respect and esteem for myself with, and great confidence in my abilities and potential; I feel calm / a joyful / a, creative / ae sure about all that love me.
5) No one can belittle my dignity as a person or stifle my desire to love free / peaceful ae / a.
6) I open my heart and my mind to the warm energy of love, are increasingly positive / a, available and active / in the acceptance and understanding why it all makes sense, so I'm relaxed / confident ae / a .
7) I live my life with enthusiasm and appreciate every moment, strengthen me in positivity, optimism, joy of living and loving life with conscious balance.
8) I am more free from any dependence and conditioning of people and situations, are open / a, helpful and confident / a in the positive energy and full of life / a hope for a favorable destiny.
9) Every event and situation is also bad for me the opportunity to develop courage and enterprise, security, confidence and enthusiasm.
NB The formulas should be recited, very naturally, 15-20 times once or twice a day. Anyone who decides to help choose those that best suit its current internal situation and then continue with the others.
PS Before sending this monthly article for publication on the blog, listening to a morning program (Rai 1), I felt very exciting news that in England people, especially married couples, and solid and confirmed by the time they no longer have sexual desire.
In the commentary to the news has triggered Italian sexologist dr. Chiara Simonelli, which interviewed the driver Luca Juror, not only confirmed this situation in Italy but also added a rather disconcerting news for Italian men (we always talk about men bound in stable couples), which are often the wives who come physicians for advice in order to return to their sexual desire men ask if they can give them the drugs Viagra or equivalent, but almost all physicians respond that the lack of desire can not be solved with Viagra, there is a deeper cause of physical, mental and spiritual nature.
try to understand the causes of this problem with multiple meanings: apart from the physical causes that can be traced to a poor diet with too much food rich in hormones, so no more healthy and natural, and a lack of natural physical activity, an 'other contributory factor is the fullness of emotion and curiosity, because we are bombarded by erotic images, nudity and sexual scenes of any kind that have destroyed the mystery of sexuality burning taste of discovery and conquest of the object of desire, but I think the most important cause of that lack of desire to seek a spiritual level, ie, in this historical period, so-called conscious soul, you may notice that certain rigid patterns of thought and behavior have become commonplace in traditional no value and no longer meet the real needs;
how can you even think that man should take the initiative sexually, the woman is more passive, that sex should be done in the traditional way ....? common experience in romantic relationships and daily highlights and other needs other ways of satisfaction, it is sufficient to read journals in female subjects, hear and see television programs or know directly from experience, if you are still willing to seek excitement.
Omitting the answers can be given individually to the problem, you can breathe new species of couples in relationships, renewal, freedom, independence, processing too rigid patterns of behavior, you feel the need to break ties binding to hear the voice of instinct and the impulse to experiment on their own.
In any area where there is a relationship between people leads to new demands, new ways of contact, relationships, and this is why it is often said, "Do not you understand more of people! "and there are more than security, the stability of feelings that the traditional sort of values \u200b\u200band behaviors and ensured that we would hide behind to justify certain attitudes.
Now the individual, man or woman, must have the courage to pick up their lives, creating a time when his relations, his relationships at all levels to carry out his plans and desires, dreams and aspirations with awareness , imagination and creative drive with a new method which requires great self-confidence, love for oneself and for others and for life with its infinite richness of emotions and feelings and created a more authentic morality. In
Search this woman is always the dominant and therefore inspires a certain fear the man who is unable to renew itself.
Unfortunately we are still strongly influenced by false ideas and values \u200b\u200babout the true meaning of love, that we propinano the media bombarding us with sexual and emotional patterns very trivial and devoid of conceptual content valid for spiritual growth: only physical attraction , erotic fantasy, tastes and pleasures instinctual level, jealousy, possession and competition, which means absolute freedom and passion dependence and other conditioning / a, all of which exceed the time and destroys the evidence of those relationships that are shipwrecked after a short time because it lacks mental clarity and authenticity in them the values \u200b\u200bthat should be the basis for real relationships in the push to grow developmentally. It 'hard to hear of understanding, acceptance and awareness or read definitions and views of a spiritual value on love, no account is taken of the fact that there are other aspects which unite two people in an authentic and binding capacity for renewal.
E 'should list a few: intellectual interests, cultural and working for a spiritual affinity with aging, a similar approach to life common in the positive aspects: fun, friends and travel, etc. .. and the negative aspects: moral solidarity in suffering, diseases and harsh experience, willingness to sacrifice and renunciation.
physical sexual attraction, in fact, goes much resized and placed in its proper light. Some people understand it as a policy response to the chemical and physical energy: it is as if you were at the first meeting in their turn, at the biological level, an excitement of the senses and instinct to possess and aggressiveness. Other
admit to feel in the presence of attractive men or women, as an awakening of energy in the genitals. We are definitely on another level. This attraction, taken in isolation, is not love: it can only be the beginning of a relationship that could also end after sexual experiences, if there is willingness and interest to build a satisfying relationship, however, should be made aware of and supported by higher values: intelligence and sensitivity, love and creativity, otherwise, when this push to instinctive attraction runs out, you attends a resounding failure of a couple's relationship, like wise people expect and expect.
Who Love lives capable of renewing and revitalizing one or more relationships with perseverance and determination, overcome any obstacle and also any conditioning of past karma, creating new bonds to make sense of conscious positive life.
And then there is to do a very light thrust and futuristic (and many readers will smile more ...): there is no suggestion in esoteric circles that the human being must become androgynous, that absorb in itself the two aspects of male and female sexuality as well as being spiritually complete in itself, unique, independent and self-employment? Could it be that lack of a desire to prepare such an eventuality?
However, I will return the result of observations in a very long time to answer the question that is most at heart: "There may be a relationship peaceful, constructive and rewarding based on love without sex?
While acknowledging that many people have the problem no longer feel physical attraction and sexual desire to the partner are of different ages and conditions, and live real drama, because they do not feel normal and feel the fear of being betrayed / abandoned ee / and or to leave the partner a, in general, I would say yes, there are, in fact, many couples who continue to love in the highest sense of the word, after several years of living together and working to transform conscious, no longer feel the impulse sexual addiction. This may mean that they have exceeded for various reasons (leave aside the causes of disease, because not having sex does not mean it passed), including the sublimation of desire and the depletion of instinctual drive or who follow a discipline to which the act, not instinctive, it becomes the culmination of a process psicofisicomentale aware.
This behavior depends also on the very personal nature, that is identified by the profound nature of the day of birth and the position of Lilith. There are people, in fact, that employees are dall'istintualità sexual life and their own need to express their physical, emotional and mental load, hard to beat. They work or have to work to sublimate and do not turn off or suppress the instinct, and others, because they have never heard conditioning in a sexual addiction, or the experience normally with age, that is strong in his youth, weaker in older age. It 'clear that the latter is easier to reach, perhaps after some inner work of transformation, to give love a tender, affectionate and protective.
there to do another consideration: the sexual aspect of a pair depends on the karmic relationship that exists between the two. Some women have confided that, after the conception of children, have completely stopped sexual relations with their spouse. From investigations made following the regression therapy (auditing), others have found that their last link with the current partner was a parent-daughter. This explains, therefore, "love-protection" and "love-esteem" with great awe and respect for spouses and partners in search of the ideal model of paternal behavior, it also explains the need for some women "escapades" lived with the spirit of adventure typical of a daughter who is acting contrary to the obligations imposed by his father.
To conclude: it is possible to live a great love even without sexual involvement provided that there is a communion of thoughts and feelings. respect and esteem, interests and life goals.
Gradients in romantic relationships, as in others, are simply endless, that as many as there are individuals.
